Viszla terminology

I just ran across this and thought it deserved a post:

VIZSLA WORDS
® VIZSDICTIONS-The addictions that come with owning (or being owned
by) Vizslas-showing, hunting, obedience, agility, field, etc.
® VLICKING-The typical Vizsla greeting, more specifically defined as
the art of licking a person all over while jumping four feet off the
ground.
® VLANKET-A covering composed of three or four Vizslas that keep you
warm by laying on top of you in all seasons. The warmth is measured
in VTU’s (see below).
® VIZALOPE-What your Vizsla turns into when released at the park.
® VHINING-The noise heard when your Vizsla needs attention or t he
noise heard when your Vizsla knows your are on the way to the park.
® VISZLITZU stands for the attack a Vizsla makes usually consisting
of a well-timed undercut to the back of the knees.
® VMS stands for Vizsla Menstrual Syndrome, a bitch that goes into
heat on the first day of hunting season.
® VTU-Vizsla Thermal Unit, the amount of heat generated by the dog,
on your side of the bed, in July
® VIZSOSITY INDEX-A not arbitrary number agreed on by the family as
the maximum number of Vizslas per household.
® VIZSCOUNT-The actual number of dogs, usually one more than the
vizsosity index.
® VIZSLITORS are people that my Vizlsa thinks come to our house
solely to see her.
® VSLOBBER is the greeting bestowed by my Vizlsa on said Vizslitor.
® VIZSFUL thinking-the way our Vizsla can stare seemingly for hours
at whatever we are eating, thinking we are going to feed her from the
table.
® VIZELLO not to be confused with VIZSLAMORTIS, both afflictions seem
to be brought on by the same stimuli but manifest themselves quite
differently. Both happen when the leader asks the little red person
to stack (as in show training). VIZELLO is when they go completely
limp and roll on their backs and seem to acquire an extra 50lbs.
® VIZSLAMORTIS happens under the same circumstances, however the
little red person deigns to stack but then locks every single bone in
their body thereby making it impossible for them to be stacked YOUR
way.
® VIZSLARIZED is what you are when you consider holes in the wall
board a normal part of raising a vizsla!
® VIZSLARATION is a very close relative of irritation and aggravation
except it has a sense of humor.
® VIZSLAPSED TIME-The time it takes for 1) your Vizsla to strike the
most beautiful pose or point you’ve ever seen; 2) you grab your
camera; 3) you begin to press down on the shutter button; 4) your
Vizsla yawns, closes his/her eyes, hunches his/her body in a stretch
and looks really goofy; and 5) voila-the picture is taken.
® VFLOOR COVERINGS-The food crumbs, dirt, mud, grass, water and
unmentionables that are always on your carpets and floors – thanks to
your wonderful Vizsla(s).
® VEXTRA SENSORY PERCEPTION-How a Vizsla knows that you’re putting on
your “let’s- go-for-a-walk-or-run” shoes or clothes; or the fact that
it’s a weekend morning.
® VIZLAMIC-the religion of loving Vizslas.
® VORENSIC SCIENCE-the scientific study used to find proof of which
one of your Vizslas has committed a “crime.”
® VIZZA-The scraps of crust or pieces of meat saved from a pizza for
your Vizsla.
® VIZSLA COLADA-The drink you’ve set down “only for a second” that
your Vizsla comes and slurps from.
® VALLET-The elegant and graceful dance movements that only a Vizsla
can perform.
® VALLISTIC-As in “gone Vallistic”; to describe the wild brain
cramps-induced bouncing off the walls behavior that only a Vizsla can
perform.
® VIPLETS is when you can’t have just two.
® VIZRUPLETS are my four eleven month olds.
® VIZSULY IMPAIRED-There’s another breed of dog?
® VIZSULY CHALLENGED-Eight or more Vizslas in the house!
® INVIZSABLE-What they think they are when you want them to do
something and they’d rather do what you don’t want them to do.
® EXCLUSIVIZSLAISM-The frowned upon practice of owning only one vizsla.
® INADVIZSLABLE-The unwise practice of driving with the dogs loose in the car.
® LOW VIZABILITY-When your V decides that it would be fun to sit in
your lap while you are attempting to negotiate traffic.
® NOVIZABILITY is what happens when the driver’s side window is down
and your V decides that she would like to hang her head out the
window a bit.
® HIGHVIZABILITY would be your V standing so that she can almost
climb onto the rear window shelf so that she can get a better look at
passing cars-or they her.
® VIZPLACEMENT-When your little red head beats you to the recliner.
® VIZSMEARS-The smudges on the inside of car windows where your V
presses her nose.
® VADAR-The electromagnetic system that allows a sleeping vizsla on
the far end of the second floor to detect that you have just begun to
cut into an apple.
® VOPPLER EFFECT-The ability of a vizsla to warp time and space to be
sitting politely at your feet, staring at the apple before you’ve
finished the first cut.